thirty...

Forgot to publish yesterday...

Today is the first day of the next decade of my life...when I've imagined how I'd feel when this day finally arrived, I would picture myself hiding in a closet, drinking the day away. The word thirty used to feel so final...like my life would just be going downhill from there. I guess when you're 24, it feels that way. Surprisingly, I'm embracing my thirtieth more than I ever thought I would, the best is really yet to be. I can honestly say I'm proud to be 30 today, there will be no pity parties in a closet for me!

Don’t get me wrong, I had a blast during my 20's and I’m a little sad to see it go. I traveled to Hawaii and Washington DC, visited Vegas numerous times, took a road trip across the country to Arizona, partook in the Country Fest activities for many years, then boycotted CF by going to a cabin in Cumberland and traveled all over WI and MN visiting friends and family whenever I could. I partied and drank more in those years than I probably will for the rest of my life combined. I learned how to be an adult, how to fail and how to pick myself up again, how to stand up for myself and how to grow from my mistakes. I also graduated college, started my career, moved to a BIG city where I knew very few people, bought a house on my own, graduated with my Masters, got married, became a landlord, and decided to become a mom. I lived…I grew up…I learned many life lessons…found my way…found my home.

I had a co-worker tell me the other day that I just look so relaxed and content and that she’s never seen me like this before…after she said that, I realized how much more mellow I’ve been feeling lately. I don’t know if has to do with being pregnant or this milestone birthday…but lately I’ve just not wasted my energy on worrying about the things I have no control over. Yep, we have a baby coming and will never be fully prepared for his arrival (both financially and emotionally), own two houses we won’t be able to sell for a very long time, Joe is looking for a job in a depressing market and we had a finance labor reduction at work a few weeks ago…all things that normally would have me freaking the heck out. But I think I’ve finally realized I can’t control it all and I just have to roll with whatever comes our way…I’m an overachiever by nature and even though I'm not exactly where I want to be with all aspects of my life/career...I’ve made peace with my situation(s) and where my life has taken me so far…it definitely is not what I would have imagined 10 years ago…but I wouldn’t change a thing…because everything has a way of working out the way it’s supposed in the end anyways.

They say your 30’s is the best yet (and it just continues to get better and better)…I will get to watch my children grow into little people and watch them learn everything from crawling to riding a bike to starting school. I’m really excited for what is to come…so maybe that’s why this birthday has been the easiest one so far? I don’t think I will miss my 20’s much. I accomplished what I needed to during that time…I worked very hard to get here, now it’s time to enjoy my life and all the blessings in it!