One little word that used to not mean a thing to me…and now it’s a word I dread to even think about. I knew going into this pregnancy that there would be 2 decisions I would never completely feel good about. One was prompted after watching the movie “Life As We Know It” shortly after learning we were expecting…choosing who will raise your child, in the unfortunate tragedy that something happens to both Joe and myself…a decision we have yet to make and have no clue how we will make it. The other was daycare…how do you ever feel 100% confident in leaving your child with strangers? Maybe in time, after he’s been going a while, I will get there…but at this point, I don’t think I can.
We have toured 3 centers around our house, along with inquiring a few more for prices. We narrowed down our three, based on convenience and reputation/referrals. The first center was very nice but located near a very busy shopping location and that area is always a zoo after working hours. Also, I didn’t entirely care for the director. She seemed fake nice to me…which always rubs me the wrong way. Throw in it was the most expensive of the three…we quickly decided it wasn’t the place for us.
The second center was awesome. Brand new building and toys, large rooms and playground…it really is the best of the best. We loved the director and the staff we met…not to mention we have friends who take their daughter there and have nothing but great things to say. We really loved this center…only down side is the cost would be pushing our budget very tight and we’d have to cut some things out (or one of us get a nice fat raise, which I don’t see happening anytime soon with this economy). I’m just not sure this center would be the best financial decision for us…but how can you put a price on your child’s well being and your own peace of mind…that’s where we struggle.
The third center we just recently toured is located a mile from our house and…$100 cheaper per WEEK than the other 2 centers. The reason for the price difference is the owner owns the building and all the equipment, which makes their overhead costs much less than corporate/private centers who likely have rent, mortgages/loans and shareholders to keep fat and happy. This center is actually quite comparable to in-home day care costs here in the metro…but you get the perks of centers (kids are separated by age, sick days/vacations are on your schedule and not by your day care provider, lower staff to children ratios, etc). All of these make this center all the more attractive. What I didn’t like was how dated it looked (compared to centers 1 and 2 which were much newer). This center was founded in 1977 and Joe says it looks about the same as when he attended (he went here for preschool back in the 80’s). While I had no concerns about safety hazards (there have been no sited violations, I've looked up all 3 places), it was just dated and older looking. The rooms were smaller than center 2 but were bigger than center 1. I also didn’t like that the front door wasn’t locked at all times and there was no front desk area (like the other 2 centers had), it just had a lobby area with three half doors that went to the various classrooms/areas of the building…Joe did call back and talk to the owner about this issue (who was out when we visited, she had been in a minor car accident that day and didn’t make it in). She told him children are never allowed in the entrance area (or out of their rooms) without a staff member present at all times. They also have plenty of windows all around the building, so staff is able to see who is coming and going and to make sure no creepers are lurking around.
After many discussions, budget analysis, and going back and forth…we’ve ultimately decided to go with center 3. My struggle is I wasn’t head over heels in love with it like I wanted to be…but my reservations have been mostly based on appearances more than anything, which I know isn’t fair…and it most certainly does not mean my child will be less safe or taken care of…it just wasn’t as pretty or organized like the other 2 and I always tend to fall in love the more expensive things (story of my life!). But with an extra $400-$500/month, we will have money to save for college…continue to build our savings faster...pay off debts sooner so we can provide a better life for our kid(s) and ourselves by having some extra money to do fun things and go on family vacations…but most importantly…not live paycheck to paycheck.
While it sickens me that money is influencing this decision more than it should…I also know the numbers never lie. I look at numbers everyday for a living…in a world full with gray, numbers are one of the few things in life that are just simply white and black. And since I’m a complete number nerd and I track every expense to the penny…I know what we honestly can and cannot afford...and what sacrifices we will have to make to get where we want to be with both options. While I know we could “make it work” and we could pull off center 2 if we tried…the question is why put ourselves into that position if we don’t have to. I just pray we made the right decision and I don’t live to regret it…and that our son understands that while he may not have attended the prettiest or newest of day cares, it wasn’t decision we made lightly and we always had his best interest at heart…and maybe that’s all any mother can feel at this point and I shouldn’t worry that I’m not 100% there yet (and maybe I'll never get there?)…because at the core of it all, I think every mother believes deep down, that no one will be good enough to care for their child that isn’t them...
We have toured 3 centers around our house, along with inquiring a few more for prices. We narrowed down our three, based on convenience and reputation/referrals. The first center was very nice but located near a very busy shopping location and that area is always a zoo after working hours. Also, I didn’t entirely care for the director. She seemed fake nice to me…which always rubs me the wrong way. Throw in it was the most expensive of the three…we quickly decided it wasn’t the place for us.
The second center was awesome. Brand new building and toys, large rooms and playground…it really is the best of the best. We loved the director and the staff we met…not to mention we have friends who take their daughter there and have nothing but great things to say. We really loved this center…only down side is the cost would be pushing our budget very tight and we’d have to cut some things out (or one of us get a nice fat raise, which I don’t see happening anytime soon with this economy). I’m just not sure this center would be the best financial decision for us…but how can you put a price on your child’s well being and your own peace of mind…that’s where we struggle.
The third center we just recently toured is located a mile from our house and…$100 cheaper per WEEK than the other 2 centers. The reason for the price difference is the owner owns the building and all the equipment, which makes their overhead costs much less than corporate/private centers who likely have rent, mortgages/loans and shareholders to keep fat and happy. This center is actually quite comparable to in-home day care costs here in the metro…but you get the perks of centers (kids are separated by age, sick days/vacations are on your schedule and not by your day care provider, lower staff to children ratios, etc). All of these make this center all the more attractive. What I didn’t like was how dated it looked (compared to centers 1 and 2 which were much newer). This center was founded in 1977 and Joe says it looks about the same as when he attended (he went here for preschool back in the 80’s). While I had no concerns about safety hazards (there have been no sited violations, I've looked up all 3 places), it was just dated and older looking. The rooms were smaller than center 2 but were bigger than center 1. I also didn’t like that the front door wasn’t locked at all times and there was no front desk area (like the other 2 centers had), it just had a lobby area with three half doors that went to the various classrooms/areas of the building…Joe did call back and talk to the owner about this issue (who was out when we visited, she had been in a minor car accident that day and didn’t make it in). She told him children are never allowed in the entrance area (or out of their rooms) without a staff member present at all times. They also have plenty of windows all around the building, so staff is able to see who is coming and going and to make sure no creepers are lurking around.
After many discussions, budget analysis, and going back and forth…we’ve ultimately decided to go with center 3. My struggle is I wasn’t head over heels in love with it like I wanted to be…but my reservations have been mostly based on appearances more than anything, which I know isn’t fair…and it most certainly does not mean my child will be less safe or taken care of…it just wasn’t as pretty or organized like the other 2 and I always tend to fall in love the more expensive things (story of my life!). But with an extra $400-$500/month, we will have money to save for college…continue to build our savings faster...pay off debts sooner so we can provide a better life for our kid(s) and ourselves by having some extra money to do fun things and go on family vacations…but most importantly…not live paycheck to paycheck.
While it sickens me that money is influencing this decision more than it should…I also know the numbers never lie. I look at numbers everyday for a living…in a world full with gray, numbers are one of the few things in life that are just simply white and black. And since I’m a complete number nerd and I track every expense to the penny…I know what we honestly can and cannot afford...and what sacrifices we will have to make to get where we want to be with both options. While I know we could “make it work” and we could pull off center 2 if we tried…the question is why put ourselves into that position if we don’t have to. I just pray we made the right decision and I don’t live to regret it…and that our son understands that while he may not have attended the prettiest or newest of day cares, it wasn’t decision we made lightly and we always had his best interest at heart…and maybe that’s all any mother can feel at this point and I shouldn’t worry that I’m not 100% there yet (and maybe I'll never get there?)…because at the core of it all, I think every mother believes deep down, that no one will be good enough to care for their child that isn’t them...
2 comments:
Oh yes, nobody can ever take the place of mom. It's hard the first year when everything is so new and the baby can't tell you anything.
But after that first 12-18 months, you begin to realize how good daycare is for children. If C were to stay home with me, there's no way I could get together with that many kids every day. It's kind of like socializing a dog :)
I think everything will turn out just fine for you...you two are making a good choice! And it's not like you have to stick with it forever either. I bet it feels nice to get that off you to-do list, huh?
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